In our second episode with “Counselors in the Huddle, we welcome Gary and Lisa Heim—authors of True North: Choosing God in the Frustrations of Life—share how frustration, disappointment, and everyday pressures can quietly pull our hearts “south” in marriage. They unpack their True North framework and explore how God uses frustrating moments not to divide us, but to transform us as we learn to turn toward Him and toward one another.
Drawing from their story and decades of counseling work, Gary and Lisa show how God can use frustrating moments to form us. They offer simple but powerful practices that help couples turn toward grace, gratitude, and deeper connection.
Discussion Questions:
- When you think about the idea of going “south” versus turning “north,” what did you resonate with most from Gary and Lisa’s explanation?
- Where do you tend to go when you feel frustrated—toward grumbling, blame, withdrawal, grasping for control, or something else?
- How do you see God inviting us to turn “north” in this season—toward grace, openness, gratitude, or dependence on Him?
- What helps you feel safe and heard when you’re frustrated? What makes it harder? How can you invite God into that space to be more available to receive from your spouse?
- Where might we need to slow down and listen differently to each other during moments of tension or irritability?
- Gary and Lisa talked about grace and gratitude as pathways north. What’s one practical step we can take this week to move toward grace or gratitude in our relationship?
- What did God highlight for you individually through this conversation? What did He highlight for us as a couple?